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Without online dating, I’d probably still be the lonely, fearful, guy — condemned to repeat the mistakes of the past — that I was before creating my profile (plus broke from all the “talk therapy” that online dating made unnecessary).Turning chance dating encounters into a wide choice of dating experiences is the big change wrought by Internet dating, allowing vast experimentation and enabling all the learning that comes with it.Facebook, Twitter and email — apps arguably responsible for the decline of written communication and normal conversation — get about the same proportion of accolades as online dating gets abuse. And then you enter into a relationship and begin to unearth the really interesting stuff. Whether the things that lured you in are what you really want…First and foremost, online dating is chastised as being a “meat market.” As New York Times columnist David Brooks recently lamented, online daters are “shopping for human beings, commodifying people.” This criticism ignores the huge benefit of “commodified” dating: expanding the world of dating experience, and, hopefully, the knowledge about oneself and others that can flow from it. Despite the critics, online daters are analyzing people across the same spectrum as anyone ever did, just with more choices.
The wide dating experience it enabled made it obvious to me that I was attracted to the same personality traits that had drawn me into an unhappy, now-terminated, 20-plus year marriage.The authors found that a bunch of 19-year-old college freshmen in the South embraced traditional gender norms.The study is called "To Hook Up or Date: Which Gender Benefits?Put in perspective, we each probably spent more time apartment hunting than having experiences that helped select our now-divorced spouses. If so, the pundits probably will cite “commoditizing,” and all the good flowing from the concomitant expansion of experience, learning and choice, as why.Brooks fleshes out his critique by claiming that commoditizing is “the opposite . love.” By this, he must mean that online daters are selecting people from little photos that march down screens like aliens in the game, viz., by objective characteristics, versus the unquantifiable aspects thought to catalyze true love. Online dating also is heavily lambasted for its mishaps.
Sun Myung Moon — who once married disciples by the thousands — pick our spouses). Online dating may generate more of these unfortunate encounters, but that’s probably because it produces more dating experiences.