Dating single life and mate selection
At the end of the 75 minutes, three minutes for each of the 25, I’m going to come into the room. You’ve noticed whether she relates to your situation or not.I’m going to take you over to a corner and ask: "Are there any of these 25 persons with whom you would like to have further involvement? And you’ve compared all this with the ideals you have in your head - in your brain.The e Harmony Research Library is a branch of e Harmony.com™, North America's most successful Relationship Building Service.Our precise technology searches a database of 500,000 persons to find truly compatible matches."On the basis of our research and a lot of experience utilizing this exercise, I pretty much know what you’re going to say. They don’t have a very good idea for what they did to determine whether or not they want to have further involvement with someone, or put another way, whether they’re attracted to a particular person. You have a huge computer that you carry on your shoulders; a computer that has 2 billion megabytes of capacity. And your brain already can give you a prediction as to whether or not this person would be a good partner for you over the long years of your involvement with her. I take the position that your brain is not programmed genetically. The average high school senior has listened to 12,000 hours of television, but has only been in the classroom for 8,000 hours.You’re going to give me the names or the numbers of three to five of these people and I’m going to say the same thing that I say every time this happens. In just three minutes per person, you were able to eliminate 20 to 22 of these single persons your age, all available? You’re going to fumble around inside your head for the process you used to accomplish this. And I believe that you have programmed your computer so that you know pretty much what you want in that person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. You weren’t born as a baby with all these ideas about what you want in a future mate. Those 12,000 hours of television, I’m sure you would agree with me, have probably been written more carefully, edited more excruciatingly, presented in the most professional way to make sure they carry the points that the producers and writers and directors wanted carried.It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple.The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time.
As I peruse online dating profiles some things women say puzzle me. Maybe I should just skip this sentence “I love life.” But I can’t. Who doesn’t love living, considering the alternative… When talking to singles about mate selection, I always try to take great care not to alarm them.Unfortunately, the raw facts about choosing someone to live with and love well for a lifetime can be daunting.
When you come up to a given person and meet them and talk with them, you get a sense of where they are on a number of dimensions that relate to the dimensions you have in your mind. And those points that are carried through television very often have to do with the qualities Hollywood believes should be most attractive in the person you are selecting to be you long-time mate. Unfortunately television tends to promote values and qualities in another person I don’t believe have long-lasting effects.