He is hot and cold dating
Leaving him may be hard, but your song in this case, is “He Is Emotionally Unavailable And He Will Never Commit”. This will not be a list to Santa, but a list of flaws; flaws. Now is the time for you to be strong and hold your ground.
The bottom line is that he is not there for you and you need someone who can be involved in a real relationship and meet your needs. Husband issues require a different approach and marriage with an emotionally distant man could be signs of deep-rooted marital problems, instead of just him “acting funny”.) So far, we’re all good. All the things that are wrong with this unsuitable lover, all the ways in which he comes up short and all the ways in which he makes you miserable. After all, you mostly talk to him when you take it upon yourself to call him. This time apart has been all the evidence you needed (as if you didn’t have enough already) that this man will not make himself available to you, emotionally or otherwise.
As a woman dating an emotionally distant man, you run the risk of being shut down repeatedly and every effort you make to get closer can be rebuffed. He’s not there, you’re confused, and you end up on an emotional roller-coaster. What you know is that he’s not treating you right, but there are so many options as to why. Now, I wasn’t even going to touch this one, but since I know how people are, let me say it: if he already has a girlfriend, fiancée, or – God forbid – a wife, then all of his behavior suddenly makes sense.
The worst part of it is that you don’t know what’s happening. The number of women who want to know how to deal with men and this issue is mind-numbing.
A man who is ‘not there’ for you has the characteristics and symptoms of being fiercely independent, detached, unwilling to commit, distant, and even cold at times. Do the signs a man give you fluctuate from week to week? If he gives any indication that he is already attached or won’t disclose his relationship status, that should raise red flags all over the damn place!
It sucks to be in that position, so don’t do that to another woman or to yourself. After seeing countless numbers of break-ups, I should know. He was absent for every single one (or most) of those things?
I don’t need to tell you that this is designed to fail and that he is not emotionally ready to seriously date . This “Let’s not put a label on it” excuse is 100% BS and it almost always comes from the guy. Did he join you at IKEA to get that new bed you needed? Sure, he he’ll be there and do this and do that, but if you think about it, he never comes through, does he?
Time is your friend here – though if you are determined and if you want to learn how to make an emotionally detached man fall in love, your best bet would be to pick up Source of Attraction and go through all of the material. You may want to sit down and spend some time thinking about this.
If he won’t hear of it either way, then is a deal breaker. That is for two reasons: a) because What are these?
If he won’t even commit to a weekend away with you, do you really expect him to commit to you emotionally? They’re all the vague, not-at-all-specific excuses unavailable men give you when they/he doesn’t want to tell you what he’s doing or who he’s with.
From where I’m standing, you shouldn’t bet money on this particular possibility. Let me guess – he always says he’s going to be somewhere, and then he doesn’t show up, he doesn’t pick up calls, he won’t help you when you need him, he disappears, he blows you off and all manner of other unforgivable behavior. “Going out with some friends” is not a real answer, especially when you know nothing about these friends.